Coming to a Crossroads Read online

  “That’s because I was,” she told him honestly. “It has been months since I had that much time to just enjoy myself, and I really can’t remember the last time I actually got all dressed up.”

  Ethan pretended to give her a once-over. “Well, I’m happy to say that you certainly haven’t lost the knack for that. And on behalf of all the men attending the reception today, I’d like to say that you really brightened up the room.”

  She laughed softly at his compliment. “The room was already bright, but thank you.”

  “Trust me, you turned heads,” Ethan assured her, unlocking his car. He circled around to the passenger side and held the door open for her.

  She could get used to this, Liz thought as she slid into her seat. “As long as I didn’t embarrass you, that’s good enough for me.”

  Closing her door, Ethan retraced his steps and went around to the driver’s side, then got in. But rather than starting up the engine, he looked at her. “Why would you even think something like that?”

  Liz shrugged. “No reason,” she replied, thinking she needed to just drop the matter. This wasn’t any of her business.

  But she had always been a person who valued honesty more than anything else, and that meant that she needed to be honest herself before she could expect anyone else to reciprocate.

  She debated silently while Ethan buckled up and even waited until he had started up his car and pulled out onto the road before she finally made her decision. Gathering her courage to her, she went ahead with presenting her question to him.

  “Ethan?”

  The way she uttered his name, it felt as if it was pregnant with all sorts of unspoken questions. Ethan did his best not to let paranoia get the better of him and tried to sound laid-back as he asked, “Yes?”

  She took a deep, fortifying breath, then asked him the million-dollar question. “Who’s Catherine?”

  Whatever he might have been expecting her to ask, it was definitely not that. Ethan congratulated himself for not suddenly swerving to one side or coming to a sudden, skidding halt. Instead, he continued to keep his eyes on the road.

  Only his hands tightened ever so slightly on his steering wheel.

  “Who told you about Catherine?” he finally asked, doing his best to sound nonchalant.

  Liz turned her head in his direction. If this woman had meant nothing to him, he wouldn’t have that slightly guilty lilt in his voice.

  “I’m hoping you will,” she answered simply.

  He hadn’t stated that correctly, he upbraided himself. “I mean, how did you happen to even hear that name?”

  As far as he knew, no one had brought up Catherine’s name the entire time they were at the reception. How would Liz have even known to ask about his ex-fiancée? He must have missed something.

  It really bothered her that she had to question him like this, but then, Liz reminded herself, it wasn’t as if they had pledged their troth or anything even close to that sort of thing. He’d brought her to his friend’s wedding. Beyond that, Ethan really didn’t owe her any kind of an explanation.

  But it still stung. She had just assumed that they were on a different footing than the one they seemed to be on.

  Her mistake, Liz thought.

  But part of her was still hoping that he would somehow redeem himself, even though he owed her nothing—certainly no explanations.

  And yet...

  She saw that Ethan was still waiting for her to give him some sort of an answer. She had to be honest with him.

  “When I went to the ladies’ room just before we left, I overheard two of the bridesmaids talking. One of them wondered why you had brought me to the wedding instead of Catherine. They were the aggressive ones who managed to knock each other out of the way at the bridal bouquet toss,” she quickly added by way of edification. She didn’t want him thinking that she was demanding an explanation—she just wanted to know why he had asked her to come with him when someone else obviously had a claim to his affections.

  Ethan nodded, knowing exactly who she was talking about. “That would be Mia and Jackie.”

  “Friends of yours?” she asked.

  “Oh Lord, no,” he answered emphatically, rolling his eyes.

  “Friends of Catherine?” she guessed.

  “I think they wanted to be, but Catherine wasn’t exactly the warm, welcoming type,” he told her. “She would have looked down on them. She did look down on them.”

  Didn’t sound as if he really liked this Catherine person, she thought. “Was she your girlfriend?” Liz finally asked him.

  Ethan paused a moment, then told her, “She was my fiancée.”

  “Oh.” Fiancée. The word seemed to burn itself right into her skin.

  Well, she had certainly walked right into that one, Liz thought. But if he had a fiancée, why had Ethan brought her to this wedding? It didn’t make sense. He didn’t strike her as the two-timing type, but then, she certainly wasn’t infallible when it came to judging people.

  “Are you two on a little break?” she finally asked, trying to couch her question as best she could. She didn’t want Ethan to see that she was hurt, disappointed and experiencing a host of other emotions.

  Most of all, she wanted to be out of this car and in her home. Alone.

  “On a little break?” he repeated. “No, we’re not.”

  This was even worse than she’d thought. “Well, then—”

  “We’re on a permanent break,” he told her with finality. “As of several months ago.”

  Liz wanted to ask him what happened. Most of all, she wanted to ask why he hadn’t told her about this ex-fiancée, but she knew the man owed her no explanations. So she refrained from asking him any more questions, although not asking him was just furiously eating away at her insides.

  “Don’t you want to know why?” he finally asked.

  “Only if you want to tell me,” Liz answered, feeling that was the safest way for her to proceed.

  “I didn’t want to tell you,” Ethan admitted, “but only because I am not proud of that period of my life.”

  Liz couldn’t even begin to guess why he felt that way, but rather than speculate, she wanted Ethan to give her the details. That way there wouldn’t be any misunderstandings.

  “Why?” she asked.

  “Because I didn’t see what was happening right in front of me. And when I finally did, I kept hoping I was wrong, that somehow, it would all work itself out. But I finally had to face the fact that it wasn’t going to do that—and that,” he added with a sigh, “I had made a huge mistake.”

  “By getting engaged to Catherine?” Liz guessed, watching his profile closely.

  “Yes,” he admitted.

  She still wasn’t sure she was following him. “Why was it a mistake?” Liz pressed.

  “Let me back up here,” he told her, gathering his thoughts together. “Catherine’s father ran a very successful medical firm located in Beverly Hills. Because I was marrying into the family, he was willing to have me join it once I completed my residency.” There was no humor in the smile that curved his mouth. “My future was all laid out in front of me. My patients would be women who wanted to have someone help them realize the imagery goals they had for themselves. Fulfilling the fantasies of vain, shallow women, so to speak.”

  Liz could hear the emptiness he had to have felt. She made no comment; she just let him continue talking.

  “I finally told Catherine that I was very grateful for her father’s consideration, but I wanted to go where I could do the most good, where I felt I was needed.” The smile on his lips deepened. “She didn’t see it my way. We fought—she called me a blind fool and told me I had to pick. My choices were her and her father’s practice, or the, quote, ‘stupid clinic,’ and if I picked that, it would be without her. I chose the latter. She flew into a rage.
That was the last time I ever saw her.”

  Liz was quiet for a moment, then finally asked, “Do you regret your choice?”

  Ethan didn’t even hesitate. “Not for so much as even a second,” he told her honestly. “What I regret was that I spent over four years of my life being so unbelievably and completely blind.”

  As always, Liz focused on the positive aspect and tried to make him do the same. “The main thing is that you’re not blind anymore.” But still, she had to ask. “Do you miss her?”

  He didn’t understand how she could ask that. Wasn’t she listening? “I just said I regretted losing over four years to that entanglement.”

  “But deep down, in your heart,” Liz pressed, “do you miss Catherine?”

  He thought about her question for a moment. “To be very honest, I miss the idea of having someone,” he admitted. “But do I specifically miss Catherine?” He shook his head. “Not at all. I regret having to say that she wasn’t really a very nice person. Drop-dead gorgeous on the outside,” he said very honestly. “But she was a lot like that really tempting-looking meal you bite into, only to discover that, much to your horror, the inside tasted just rotten.

  “Catherine’s inside wasn’t rotten, exactly, it was just incredibly shallow and empty.”

  They had reached her apartment complex, and he drove his car to the guest parking area.

  “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you about Catherine before, but to be totally honest, I was waiting for the right time to bring that up. That wasn’t exactly the most stellar time in my life,” he admitted, “and I didn’t want you to think any less of me.”

  “I wouldn’t have,” she replied in all honesty.

  He smiled as he pulled up the hand brake on his car and turned the engine off. “Well, Cinderella, we’re here, and I managed to get you in just before midnight,” he announced teasingly.

  Opening her door, Liz slid out of the passenger side of the car. Ethan got out as well and circled to join her.

  “Don’t look so surprised,” he told her when he saw the expression on her face. “I intend to do this right and walk you to your door.”

  Liz inclined her head. She should have known he would. “Very chivalrous,” she replied. “Would you like to come in for some coffee or strong tea?”

  “Why, am I drooping?” he asked with a laugh.

  “No, but I thought you might want to have something to keep you awake for your drive home. I remember it’s not far from here, but even half a mile could prove dangerous if you’re sleepy.”

  “Well, I’m definitely not sleepy,” he told her. “I think the conversation about Catherine took care of that for me.”

  “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to stir up any bad memories,” Liz told him. “I was just curious. Listening to those women made me feel as if I was some kind of a poacher.”

  “No,” he assured her as they reached her door and he waited for her to take out her keys, “you definitely are not a poacher. Besides, I asked you out—you didn’t ask me.”

  “Oh, right,” she replied in a deadpan voice. “I forgot.”

  He straightened up as she opened her door. Suddenly, he didn’t want the evening to end just yet. “Is that offer for coffee still good?”

  Her eyes crinkled as she smiled at him. “It doesn’t expire until just after the stroke of midnight.”

  “Then I will definitely take you up on it,” he told her.

  Liz pushed open her door. “By all means,” she told him, “come on in.”

  Chapter Thirteen

  Liz shrugged off her shawl as she walked into her kitchen and draped it over the back of one of the two chairs buffering the table.

  “So,” she asked, “have you decided whether to have coffee or tea yet?”

  “I’ll have coffee,” Ethan replied. “Definitely coffee. Tea is only for when you’re sick—and then only if someone is forcibly making you drink it,” he concluded, making a face to show just how little he cared for drinking tea.

  Liz nodded obligingly as she crossed to her refrigerator. She took out the can of coffee she had already opened earlier in the week.

  “Mental note,” she said aloud as if she was writing a memo to herself. “Do not offer Ethan tea again under penalty of death.”

  Amused at the supposed exchange she was having with herself, Ethan laughed.

  “Well, maybe not death,” he amended. “But as a last resort if there’s absolutely nothing else to drink and the weather is below freezing outside.”

  Liz placed the coffee container on the counter beside her coffee machine. “Given that this is Southern California, I sincerely doubt the weather is going to drop down to freezing within our lifetime,” she responded with a wide smile.

  Measuring out enough coffee to make two extremely strong cups, she deposited the amount into the coffee filter and then poured in just enough water to mix with the crystals. The coffee maker began making percolating noises almost instantly.

  “Now then,” Liz continued, “I have milk, vanilla creamer, sugar—”

  Ethan cut her short before she could go on reciting the contents of her refrigerator. “Just black.”

  She watched as the inky black liquid began to make its way into the glass coffeepot. Maybe she’d made it too strong.

  Liz caught her bottom lip between her teeth. “I should put in more water,” she suggested, nodding toward the coffee maker.

  “Black is fine,” he reassured her.

  She still had her doubts. “Black is one thing,” she allowed. “But right now, once the coffee is finished percolating, if you want to consume it, you might have to cut it with a knife.”

  Ethan laughed at the image. “Now you’re exaggerating.”

  “No, not really,” she told him. “In its present state, if it fell on you, the coffee could probably flatten you, cartoon style,” Liz added to help him visualize the ultimate results. “Still want it to be that strong?”

  He grinned. “More than ever,” he told her. And then he grew serious. “That talk about Catherine before, it didn’t ruin the wedding for you, did it?” he asked. “Because you did seem to be having a really good time up until you came out of the ladies’ room.”

  “That’s because I was,” she told him honestly.

  Pouring Ethan a really black cup of coffee, she proceeded to pour a second one for herself, except that she only half filled her cup. She left the rest of the space for her creamer.

  Taking his cup from Liz, Ethan looked at the one she was preparing for herself and raised a critical eyebrow. “But you said you drink it black,” he told her. “That’s creamer with a drop of coffee in it.”

  Liz shrugged good-naturedly. “Sometimes I like it with creamer,” she told Ethan.

  He laughed to himself. “You must save a lot of money on coffee.”

  Her mouth curved, and he found it infinitely appealing, not to mention extremely sexy. “Let’s just say I don’t run out of coffee very often.”

  Taking the cups into the living room with them, Liz and Ethan sat down on the sofa.

  He took a long, appreciative sip and then looked at Liz. “You didn’t answer my question,” he reminded her. “Those women talking about Catherine didn’t ruin the reception for you, did they?”

  “When I overheard them talking, I wasn’t thinking about the reception,” she told Ethan.

  He wasn’t sure if he followed her. “What were you thinking about?”

  Her eyes met his. “You,” she admitted. “And whether or not you were just putting up a front, while inside, you were really missing Catherine.”

  He took another long sip of coffee, then set down his cup. “I’ll let you in on a little secret,” he told her. “Even when I was right there with Catherine, I was missing Catherine.”

  It was her turn to look at him in confusion. “I don’t un
derstand...”

  He broke it down for her. “The woman I thought I was in love with didn’t exist, except in the recesses of my mind. The real Catherine turned out to be extremely self-centered, to the point that there was room for only one person in her world—and that was her,” he concluded. “Once I finally realized that, the relationship was over.” He placed his cup on the small coffee table in front of the sofa. “I’d rather not talk about her. Catherine was just an unfortunate part of my past.”

  But there was more to it than that, Liz thought. “You indicated that her father was going to make you part of his medical firm. That would have been helpful to your career,” she pointed out. “You must have regrets about missing out on that opportunity, don’t you?”

  She was getting the wrong picture, he thought. He was doing his best not to allow her perfume to distract him. “I didn’t stay up all those nights, studying for medical exams just to wind up playing golf and belonging to a country club while squeezing in an occasional patient who is obsessed with whether or not the skin beneath her eyes is taut enough or needs another tuck. I did stay up all those nights studying so I could help people with real problems get better.”

  Replaying his words in his head, Ethan laughed at himself. “I guess that sounds a little hokey out loud,” he observed.

  She put her hand over his, as if that negated what he’d just said. “I think it sounds very noble.”

  Although he appreciated what Liz had just said, he laughed and shook his head. “That’s not the way Catherine saw it.”

  Liz’s brow furrowed ever so slightly. “Well, if you don’t mind my saying so, Catherine sounds like she was an idiot.”

  “This probably sounds awful,” Ethan confided, “but I don’t mind at all.” Because he wanted to have something to do with his hands, he reached for his coffee. But at the same time, he couldn’t seem to tear his eyes away from her.

  On automatic pilot, Liz reached for her own cup, also without looking. Except that she miscalculated where the cup was and wound up hitting his cup instead. Or maybe he wound up hitting hers.