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  When the doorbell rang, she fairly ran to it, desperate for something to distract her. If it was a salesman, she was prepared to buy every one of his subscriptions. As long as he would stay for a while and talk.

  But when she opened the door, it wasn’t a salesman. It was Terrance.

  She raised her chin defiantly, her eyes narrowing. “What are you doing here?”

  Not waiting for an invitation, he walked in. “We have to talk.” He’d wrestled with his thoughts all afternoon and they had all just kept on returning to her.

  She closed the door, vacillating between wanting to throw herself into his arms and wanted to beat on him. “More lies?”

  “No—” he looked at her pointedly “—the truth.”

  She couldn’t help the sarcastic remark that rose to her lips. “Sure you can trust me with it?”

  He wouldn’t be baited. “The operation’s over. Harris couldn’t wait to talk and name names in exchange for a deal.”

  Curiosity got the better of her. “What kind of deal?”

  He recounted some of the details, the rest still had to be worked out. “Time served in a facility away from the general population. And keeping the hospital’s name out of the newspapers.” The latter request had surprised him, given Harris’s self-centered bent.

  She’d been worried about the repercussions the scandal would have within the medical community. She’d already heard of some physicians considering withdrawing their name from Blair’s roster. She hadn’t thought suppression was within the realm of possibilities.

  “You can do that?”

  He nodded. “I’ve got some connections, some favors to call in. Blair Memorial’s name will be kept out of it.”

  She dragged her hand through her hair, wondering if he could make good on the promise. “Arthur Harris will be grateful.”

  Terrance and his superior had already met with the chairman of the board, laying the case down before him, as much as they were able. The senior Harris had held himself with a dignity that his son lacked. There were no aspirations, no threats.

  “He’s resigning from the board.” He smiled, thinking of the man’s successor. “Looks like Dr. Beauchamp’ll be stepping up in the world.”

  He was the likely man for the job. “That leaves the chief of staff’s position open,” she said absently, then looked at Terrance, renewed interest in her eyes. “So what were they doing, running drugs through the hospital?”

  Even as she said it, it sounded completely preposterous, like something that was scripted into a movie of the week.

  He nodded. The incredible was the norm in his line of work. “Bringing in shipments in laundry baskets and keeping them on ice so to speak until the heat was off and they could be put out on the street.”

  Restless, Alix moved about the room as she asked questions…keeping space between them, because she didn’t trust herself not to act the part of a fool. “How did Harris get involved?”

  He told her exactly what they had learned when they went in. “He ran up gambling debts at one of the casinos until he was drowning in them. One of the owners gave him a chance to wipe the slate clean by opening up the hospital to the trade. Harris had no choice.”

  She couldn’t accept that as an excuse. There was such a thing as self-respect, as honor. And Harris had not only himself to think about, but his family, his medical community. “He always had a choice.”

  She was careful to keep distance between them, Terrance noted. It represented the chasm that existed between them. A chasm that could only be breached one way.

  “I’ll quit.”

  She looked up at him in surprise. She couldn’t have heard him right. “What did you say?”

  He rephrased it. “I’ll leave the agency.”

  Alix stared at him as the import of his words sank in. “For me.”

  “For you.”

  She looked down at her nails, not seeing them as she examined this latest bit of information he had just dropped in her lap.

  “I guess I can’t ask for more than that.” She paused, then looked up at him. “So, I won’t.”

  He didn’t quite follow her. “You don’t want me to quit,” he said slowly.

  “No, I don’t. It’s what you like to do,” she explained. To ask him to give up what he did for a living just to please her would be selfish on her part, even though she knew that she was going to be worried about him for the rest of her life.

  He interpreted her words the only way he could. She didn’t want him in her life. He’d lost her. But he couldn’t bring himself to walk away. There had to be something he could do. Because he didn’t want to face the rest of his life without her.

  “So, where does that leave us?”

  “I don’t know.” She pretended to think. “The doctor and the DEA agent?”

  The darkened tunnel received its first glimmer of light. He studied her face, searching for answers. Wanting to be sure he wasn’t hearing what wasn’t being said. “And you’re okay with that?”

  She stopped moving around the room and crossed to him. For the first time since he’d walked out on her this morning, she felt hopeful.

  She felt like smiling.

  “As long as I’m the doctor and you’re the DEA agent, yes.”

  He’d spent the last few hours in hell, agonizing over what he would say if she turned him down. All wasted time. Thank God. But he felt it only fair to warn her. “It’s not going to be easy.”

  She laughed. There would be evenings she wouldn’t go to sleep, worrying about him. Glad to have him to worry about. “Tell me about it. The only comfort I have is that if you get shot on the job, you’ll be able to operate on yourself.”

  He drew her into his arms. “I’d rather my wife did that.”

  She was definitely due for a hearing check, she decided. It sounded like he’d just said— “Wife?”

  “Well, yes.” Why did she looked so surprised? “What did you think I was talking about just now when I said it wasn’t going to be easy?”

  “That it wasn’t going to be easy,” she echoed. Was he pulling her leg? She’d kill him if he was. “How am I supposed to make the leap from ‘easy’ to ‘marriage’?”

  His grin was wide. “With both feet, the same as me, Alix.”

  She wanted this perfectly clear. “So you’re asking me to marry you?”

  “Asking, begging, pleading, take your pick.” He brushed a kiss against her hair. She was so precious to him. He hadn’t realized just how much until this morning. “I love you, Alix, and I can’t see myself without you anymore.”

  She was still trying to take all this in. “And you were willing to give up your job for me?”

  “My job, my life, whatever it takes.”

  Her eyes were sparkling. “You’ll definitely need your life for what I have in mind.”

  His arms tightened around her. “So you’re saying yes?”

  “I’ve always said yes.” On her toes, she nipped at his lower lip, teasing him. “Don’t forget, I never said goodbye.”

  “Come to think of it, neither did I.”

  “No.” She smiled for a second, before he kissed her. “You didn’t.”

  ISBN: 978-1-4268-6847-4

  UNDERCOVER M.D.

  Copyright © 2002 by Marie Rydzynski-Ferrarella

  All rights reserved. Except for use in any review, the reproduction or utilization of this work in whole or in part in any form by any electronic, mechanical or other means, now known or hereafter invented, including xerography, photocopying and recording, or in any information storage or retrieval system, is forbidden without the written permission of the editorial office, Silhouette Books, 300 East 42nd Street, New York, NY 10017 U.S.A.

  All characters in this book have no existence outside the imagination of the author and have no relation whatsoever to anyone bearing the same name or names. They are not even distantly inspired by any individual known or unknown to the author, and all incidents are pure invention.

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