Happy New Year--Baby! Read online

  She’d done what she could to hang on. For a while, she’d even talked herself into believing that it was all hype and that Craig couldn’t help it if women threw themselves at him.

  It was never the throwing she minded, Nicole thought now. Men like Craig always attracted women and it was to be expected. That went with the territory. It was the catching that bothered her.

  It became clearer and clearer to her that Craig was doing his very best to catch every single pass thrown his way. And the money, there always seemed to be huge sums of money going out, more than she thought there should have been. More, she felt, than was coming in. It went to support his lavish lifestyle. She never saw any of it beyond the diamond ring on her hand. As time went on, Nicole became torn between attempting to ride it out and leaving him.

  And then, one quarter away from graduating, she’d found out that she was pregnant. It would mean putting her life on hold again, but the thought of a baby excited her and calmed her at the same time. She was going to be a mother, someone’s mother. It meant the world to her.

  When she told him, Craig had been far from elated about the prospect of becoming a father. That had hurt her more than she’d thought possible. But, with Marlene’s support, she had tried to bear it, secretly hoping that once the baby was actually part of their lives, Craig would settle down a little.

  Nicole pressed her hand against the huge mound before her as fresh tears followed in the trail left by the others. All that was in the past. A spinout six weeks ago had made the rumors and their future together all moot. Craig was gone. The car had caught fire and there hadn’t even been anything to bury. She’d held a memorial service for him and gone on with her life.

  She supposed, a lump growing to insurmountable proportions in her throat, that nothing had really changed. She was still here, in this apartment, where she has been during Craig’s times on the road. Her plans for her own future hadn’t changed. She still intended to be a teacher once the baby was born.

  It was just that…

  Just…

  Oh God.

  Nicole closed her eyes, unable to put into words why she felt as if her life were over. It wasn’t. She was twenty-six, with a college degree whose ink was barely dry, awaiting the birth of her first child. Life was good, the future was bright.

  So why did she feel as if she’d gone skydiving into a bottomless abyss?

  Nicole set her mug down on the table. She’d finished her tea without realizing it. Without really tasting it. As she looked down at the empty mug, the buzzing noise in the background registered.

  Someone was ringing her doorbell.

  Nicole remained sitting at the table. It was a little after eight-thirty. No one came around at this time of day. It was too early. She knew that Marlene was home with her baby. She wasn’t expecting anyone and there was no place she was supposed to be. She only worked four days a week at the art gallery. Friday was her day off.

  The doorbell rang again, setting her teeth on edge. She wished whoever it was would go away. But that didn’t seem likely from the insistent buzz.

  Placing her palms on the table, Nicole pushed herself up. Crossing to the door, she looked through the peephole. Nicole blinked to clear her vision. It was the man in 175. The one who had just moved in less than a week ago. What did he want?

  “Just a minute.” Nicole stepped back and flipped open the locks that she had installed herself. She took a deep breath and hoped she didn’t look as awful as she felt. “Yes?”

  Dennis had his speech all prepared, but the faint tear stains on Nicole’s cheeks stopped him cold.

  “You’ve been crying.” Why? he wondered. She hadn’t gotten a call and no one had been by to visit. He watched a fresh tear careen down her cheek. “And you’re still crying.”

  Embarrassed, Nicole rubbed the telltale streaks with the heel of her hand and sniffed.

  “No, I’m not. I’m answering the door.” She blew out a breath slowly, trying to regain her composure. She knew the man by sight. Curious, she had gone so far as to read his name off the mailbox which was right next to hers, but they’d never exchanged any words. She wished that he hadn’t picked now to start. “Is there anything I can do for you?”

  Dennis hated tears. It reminded him of all those evenings when he’d heard his mother crying after she thought he and Moira were asleep. He’d never acquired an immunity to them.

  Make use of every opportunity, he’d been taught. Sometimes it was harder to remember than others.

  He smiled apologetically. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to walk in on something.”

  Oh God, sympathy. She couldn’t handle sympathy. That would only make her cry more.

  Nicole tossed her head, narrowing her eyes. “You didn’t.”

  She felt like an idiot. Her nose was probably red. Nicole wished that he would say what he had to say and then leave.

  “Crying jags are common for women in my condition. Look,” she said abruptly, cutting herself off, “you didn’t ring my bell because you wanted to take a survey on how emotional pregnant women are. Is there something I can do for you?”

  Touchy. Obviously not a shrinking violet. It made him feel better.

  Dennis glanced down at the key in his hand. “Yes. I’m your new neighbor, Dennis Lincoln. I’m expecting a delivery today, and I can’t be here to let the deliverymen in. I called the rental office, but they and maintenance seem to have disappeared off the face of the earth and I can’t get anyone to house-sit.”

  He paused and looked at her. She wasn’t about to volunteer, he guessed. That made him feel better, too. Though it was part of his job, he really didn’t care for taking advantage of kindhearted people. Besides, he reminded himself, she’d probably been in on it with her late husband.

  “I know it’s a huge imposition and this is the last minute and all, but are you working today?”

  Dennis already knew the answer to that. He’d had Nicole’s complete schedule down pat before he ever moved in.

  Nicole shook her head. “No, today’s my day off.” The day stretched before her, suddenly very large and empty. “I was just planning to put my feet up and watch my ankles thicken.”

  Dennis glanced down at her feet. She was barefoot and had the kind of feet that reminded him of “Cinderella”: small and dainty. Her ankles were slender and graceful.

  “They look pretty good from where I’m standing.”

  The compliment, given so spontaneously and guilelessly, made Nicole laugh softly. It felt good. It had been a long time since she had been given a compliment. She smiled at him.

  “Thanks, I needed that.”

  His smile grew. “Any time, Mrs. Logan.”

  She had no idea why, but for a moment, she entertained the idea of inviting him in. Maybe she was just lonely, or hungry for a kind word. That wasn’t like her, either.

  He looked as if he was in a hurry.

  Just as well, Nicole thought, she wasn’t in the market for any new friends. “What is it that you’re having delivered?”

  “A big-screen TV.” Dennis nodded toward his apartment. The door was standing open. “My old one gave up the ghost just before I moved. When I went to replace it, I decided to treat myself to something that I’ve been wanting to get for a long time.”

  She knew how that was. Except, in her case, it had been an education, something she had regretted turning her back on in the name of love.

  Nicole cocked her head, unable to resist the temptation of looking into Dennis’s apartment. From where she stood, she had a clear view of the small living room. It appeared very tastefully furnished, but it was missing something.

  Nicole looked at him, curious. “No Christmas decorations?”

  It was an oversight he hadn’t thought about. Moira normally took care of that end. He never bothered with decorations at his apartment.

  Dennis glossed over it casually. “I haven’t gotten around to it yet.”

  It sounded like procrastination to her. Somet
hing else she was well acquainted with. Craig did it all the time. Had done it, she corrected herself silently. Had done it. “It’s only a few days away.”

  Moira would really like this woman, Dennis mused. “I don’t generally let things go until the last second. This year, however, things have gotten so hectic I seem to be leaving my whole personal life on hold until the last possible moment.”

  Nicole nodded. He watched, intrigued, as a smile crept into her eyes. They were an interesting shade of indigo.

  The comment reminded her of something Marlene might have said. “I have a sister like that. I’m thinking of getting a tranquilizing gun and shooting her with a dart for Christmas.”

  Her smile broadened when she thought of Marlene. Now, with a brand new baby and maybe even a potential man in her life, perhaps Marlene would finally slow down to a trot instead of a gallop.

  Radiant, he thought. There was no other word to describe the way she looked when she smiled other than radiant. Except, perhaps, for ethereal.

  Not that that entered into the situation, he reminded himself.

  “So you’ll let them in?” He held up the key in front of her.

  Nicole took it in her hand. “I’ll let them in.”

  “You’re a lifesaver.” He jerked a thumb behind him. “I’ll just tape a note on my door, telling the deliverymen that the key is with you.” Dennis hesitated for what he felt was the appropriate amount of time. “You’re sure you don’t mind?”

  Nicole pocketed the key in her jumper, her fingers still curved around it. She shook her head at his question.

  “It might be the highlight of my whole day.”

  The sad look had returned, undermining her smile and chasing it from her eyes. He was tempted to ask her what was wrong.

  But that would be getting ahead of the plan.

  “Thanks, you’re a doll.” He turned toward his apartment, then stopped, realizing that he hadn’t told her the approximate time. “The store said the deliverymen would be by between eleven and three.” That was asking her to stay put for four hours. “I know it’s a huge imposition—”

  Nicole waved away the concern she saw etched across his face. “No problem. Like I said, I wasn’t planning on doing anything today anyway. I’ll see that it’s delivered in one piece.”

  “Thanks. I appreciate that.”

  Dennis turned and taped a note to his door. Nicole watched, surprised. “You were rather sure of yourself, weren’t you?”

  He turned to look at her over his shoulder. “Hopeful,” he amended. “Always hopeful.”

  She smiled sadly to herself. Hopeful. She’d forgotten what that was like.

  Chapter 2

  The moment after she had agreed to wait for the delivery, she’d regretted it. There was nothing Nicole hated more than having to wait for something or someone. Whether it meant sitting in Dr. Pollack’s office, waiting to be seen, anticipating a delivery, or standing in line before a movie theater, waiting always made her feel fidgety and impatient.

  But Dennis Lincoln had looked particularly needy and she was free for the day, so in a moment of weakness, she had said yes.

  Now she was stuck with the situation. Sighing, she decided not to waste the day completely and went to work on her ongoing conversion of the small, second bedroom into a nursery.

  She had just finished painting one wall when she heard a distant, rumbling noise, like the sound of a truck approaching. Setting down the roller, she looked at her watch. She’d expected the deliverymen to arrive later than the allotted time frame. It was just fifteen minutes into the first hour.

  “Nice surprise,” she murmured, wiping her hands on a rag as she went to the front door.

  “Mr. Lincoln isn’t home,” she called out to the burly man stepping out of the passenger side of the delivery truck. “But I can let you in.”

  A kindly smile negated the impression his leathery features created as the deliveryman looked at her condition. He shrugged shoulders that looked as if they belonged on a much taller man. “All the same to us as long as someone signs for it.”

  The thinner of the two men hopped onto the back of the truck. He angled the television set onto a dolly and then pressed the hydraulic lift to bring them both down to curb level. As he maneuvered the set up onto the curb, Nicole unlocked Dennis’s door and pushed it open.

  She meant to wait outside. But idle curiosity goaded her on. Succumbing, she walked into the apartment. Nicole looked around slowly. For a man, Dennis kept a very neat home, she thought. There weren’t any boxes piled up, the way she might have expected since he had just moved in. Everything looked picture perfect.

  “Where do you want it?”

  The burly deliveryman’s question brought Nicole back to the present. “Oh.”

  Nicole looked around, debating. Dennis hadn’t said anything about where he wanted the set and it wasn’t the sort of item that could be easily moved around. Once it was set down, it would be there for the duration, unless he had some strong friends.

  There was an empty space facing the sofa. She noticed the cable outlet on the wall a few feet away.

  Nicole pointed to it. “There, I guess.”

  The burly man nodded. “Looks good to me.” He and the other deliveryman moved the set into position. Within moments, the cardboard packing was being removed.

  While his partner took the flattened cardboard out to the truck, the burly man took out a clipboard and presented it to her. He jabbed a short, stubby finger at a space on the bottom of the form.

  “Just sign here, madam, and we will be out of your way.”

  Nicole wrote down her name, then paused. The deliverymen were probably expecting a tip. She felt in her pocket for a bill. It was empty. Nicole frowned. “I’ll just go get my purse—”

  The man took the clipboard from her as he shook his head. “No, that’s okay. You buy the baby something from me.”

  He laughed under his breath. Walking out of the apartment, he called out something to his partner. The other man peered out of the back of the truck and laughed as well, but it was a benevolent sound.

  Nicole remained in the apartment a moment longer. She was tempted to look around a little more. It wasn’t right, but then she’d never slavishly tread the straight and narrow path. If she had, she would have never run off with Craig to begin with.

  She approached the closet between the living room and the master bedroom, wondering if it was as neat as everything else or if he was the type to stuff everything out of sight. After a momentary debate, decorum won over curiosity. That and the fact that if the closet was crammed with possessions, they would come tumbling out if she opened the door. She didn’t want to spend the next half hour trying to stuff everything back.

  Nicole let herself out, locking the door behind her. The delivery truck was just pulling out of the complex. The day looked much too nice to remain cooped up in the apartment with cans of light yellow semigloss paint. Nicole pocketed Dennis’s key and decided to pay a visit to her sister and her brand-new nephew. She needed her spirits lifted.

  The sun was fading from the sky when Nicole returned. Walking through the door, she kicked off her shoes. She’d bought them for comfort, but now they pinched. Her feet felt swollen, just like the rest of her. Not that she could see her feet to verify that.

  Nicole sighed, trying to take heart in what she’d seen this afternoon. Three weeks after delivery and Marlene looked great. Miraculously, her figure was back to what it had been before she had gotten pregnant.

  She opened the refrigerator and poured herself a glass of orange juice. Nicole fervently hoped she’d look as good as Marlene did three weeks after she delivered. Even six weeks after she delivered.

  There was something different about her sister, Nicole mused. A definite change that transcended appearance. That undercurrent of urgency to prove something, to constantly achieve something had dissipated. Marlene was a different person now.

  Miracles, it seemed, still happened.
/>
  Suddenly too tired to make the trip from the kitchen to the living room, Nicole sank down in a chair beside the kitchen table and nursed her glass of juice.

  If Marlene still seemed a little tense, she thought, it was because she was really trying hard to be the perfect mother as well as a successful businesswoman.

  Nicole’s mouth curved, but there was only bitterness in her smile as the word mother echoed in her mind. It was small wonder if Marlene felt lost. Her sister had no example to follow. Neither of them did. There were no warm memories of a mother’s love to remember, no examples of selfless caring to emulate. They had no real-life experiences to serve as reference.

  Nothing other than what Sally had provided as their housekeeper. Sally, who had staunchly remained with Marlene after James Bailey had died, was gruff and spoke plainly, but she had a soft spot in her heart for the motherless children they had been. It was Sally who had given them the only attention and affection she and Marlene had ever known. Still, Sally was no substitute for the real thing.

  Nicole looked into her glass, tilting it and coating the sides as she thought. Though they never spoke about it, Nicole imagined that Marlene felt exactly the same way she did. That ever since Laura Bailey had abandoned them, there had been something missing from their lives.

  Something very important, no matter how hard she tried to deny it.

  Nicole felt her eyes misting again.

  Damn, what was it with her today? Everything was making her cry. She hadn’t thought about her mother walking out on them in years.

  Nicole exhaled loudly, bracing her shoulders which under the present circumstances wasn’t easy. She wasn’t going to allow memories of her mother, or lack of her mother, to prey on her mind now. As far as she was concerned, her mother was dead. Laura Bailey had died the day she had accepted her husband’s generous monetary settlement in exchange for leaving her children’s lives forever.

  She set down her glass and sniffled. This weepiness had to stop. Being pregnant certainly had its downside. Wiping her eyes with her handkerchief, Nicole curved her other hand around her belly. Though she adored the baby she carried with every shred of the love that no one had ever bothered to tap into, Nicole absolutely hated being pregnant. Almost from the very beginning, it had felt as if she were dragging around an old-fashioned steamer trunk filled to capacity with rocks. Rocks that shifted and moved independently of her. Luckily, she had Marlene to lean on. Marlene had given birth in the beginning of December and knew what lay ahead.