Loving the Right Brother Read online

  Shrugging out of her parka, Irena draped it on the hook next to the door just the way she had when she was a little girl.

  Memories, all jumbled up and intertwining, came rushing back to her, crowding her mind, stirring things inside of her. Alienation warred with a sense of belonging. She was an outsider and a native all at the same time.

  Her eyes shifted toward Brody. More feelings surged inside her. Old feelings disguised as new ones. She searched for an inner calm, but it eluded her.

  “Do you want to go straight to bed?” The moment the words were out of her mouth, she flushed. It sounded like a blatant invitation. “I—I mean—”

  “I know what you mean,” he laughed softly, lightly brushing his hand along her shoulder.

  It was meant to be a reassuring, comforting gesture, but felt like more.

  Brody stopped mid-stroke, his eyes hypnotically held by hers. Why did she have to be so beautiful? Just looking at her made him ache. He had to get past that.

  “I thought maybe we could sit around for a while and just talk, like we used to. When we were kids.” Each word seemed to come to his tongue slower than the one before.

  “We’re not kids anymore.”

  She didn’t know what made her say that. It wasn’t something that needed pointing out. Was she trying to tell him something? Or was it herself she was talking to?

  “I know,” he replied quietly. “Doesn’t mean we can’t talk.”

  “No.” She couldn’t seem to pull her eyes away from his lips, watching them as they moved. “It doesn’t.”

  She stood as close to him as a heartbeat. She could feel his breath on her face when he spoke. The feel of his breath on her skin stirred her.

  Was she just being needy again?

  Was she missing Ryan, struggling to put his memory to rest? Struggling to accept that he was permanently out of her life?

  No, it wasn’t that. She’d made peace with all that. This was something different; although, if her very life depended on it, she wouldn’t have been able to identify what.

  Maybe she took after her grandfather, Irena thought cryptically. But she’d never needed to make love for its own sake before. It had to be something more, have some underlying factor beyond just the physical need. She needed an emotional connection.

  Her head ached from trying to make sense of what was happening to her.

  All she knew was that she was very, very attracted to the man she had always considered her best friend. Was this something new? Or something old? Something that had existed under the layers, away from the light of day and examining eyes?

  Had it been there all along, waiting to be discovered? Had she kept it buried all this time?

  She had no answers.

  Except she did have an incredible need to connect with this friend from her past. This man who, within the space of a few hours, she’d come to admire and respect all over again.

  She’d always known that Brody Hayes was a good, decent person who believed in helping his fellow man or woman whenever he could. Maybe she’d even taken it for granted. But her feelings, her admiration, had been strongly reinforced by the actions she’d witnessed since she’d arrived.

  Right now, she found that irresistibly sexy.

  Irena blinked. Was she losing her mind? Or just her inhibitions? She really couldn’t say. And she’d deal with it later. Much later. Right now, there was a fire that needed putting out. And there was only one way to do that.

  “Kiss me, Brody,” she whispered, then repeated more urgently. “Kiss me.”

  The entreaty slipped warmly against his skin, melting into his flesh. A man could only resist for so long, could only hide behind crumbling noble intentions for just a limited amount of time.

  And his time was up.

  Brody felt his resolve disappear. With effort, he managed to scrap together a single protest. But it died after he’d uttered only the first word.

  “Irena—”

  Died because she’d brought up her mouth to his and held onto his shoulders.

  That was all it took.

  The feel of her lips on his terminated any fledgling notion that he could actually walk away from her. That he could continue his stoic behavior, reacting to her on a neutral plain, as if she was just his friend and nothing more. That she hadn’t filled more than her share of his dreams, night after night. Though he might have tried to lie to her, to himself, there was absolutely nothing neutral about the way he felt about her, even at the very beginning.

  Working alongside of Irena today had plainly shown him that. Just looking at her had caused his body temperature to rise several degrees, even as the day grew progressively colder.

  Fantasies crowded his brain, ushered in by desire. Then, as well as now.

  Especially now.

  Because they were alone. Together. Isolated from everything and everyone else in the world. The star-filled night cloaked them in invisibility. And in anonymity. There were no rules, which meant that there were none to break and hold them back.

  Brody felt on fire.

  His mouth still sealed to hers, he ran his hands slowly, lovingly along her body, as if to memorize every inviting curve, every small dip.

  His heart hammered harder and harder.

  Dazed, aroused, Brody hardly remembered peeling away her clothing. One minute she was pressed against him, wearing jeans and a pullover, a fuzzy, deep-blue sweater, the next minute, all those items were on the floor and she was against him again, achingly nude.

  He was aware of, in minute detail, the feel of her hands tugging, pushing, at times ripping his clothes from his body. That would forever be etched into his brain. Something to relive long after she had left his life again.

  He didn’t want to think about that, didn’t want to think beyond this exquisite moment. She was in his arms and that was all that mattered.

  Over and over again, Brody slanted his mouth over hers, kissing her lips, anointing her throat, reverently worshiping the swell of her breasts.

  He felt his control slipping away by inches.

  Brody lost himself in the taste of her, in the scent of her. Like a man finally allowed to give in to and revel in his addiction, Brody still couldn’t get enough of her.

  Struggling to rein himself in, he was afraid that he could hurt her or frighten her if the full measure of his want were allowed to emerge. But it grew increasingly difficult to keep even a little of himself in check.

  He wanted to possess her, body and soul.

  He knew he never could.

  Irena just couldn’t seem to catch her breath. She felt as if someone had scrambled her thoughts. There were no words to describe what she was feeling. She didn’t know that it could be like this, that she could be gripped tightly by such a sweet agony.

  An urgency vibrated through her, but she had little opportunity to do anything but react to the army of sensations assaulting her from every conceivable direction.

  Brody’s mouth was quick, clever, as it teased her into one spiraling climax after another, each different than the last. Not more, not less, just amazingly, exquisitely different. He’d brought his lips to her very core, then sought out new hidden points of pleasure. The back of her knee, the hollow of her throat, the space inside her elbow. Everywhere and anywhere turned into another cauldron of sensations, stirred into a frenzy by him.

  She was exhausted beyond all human measure, yet still eager. Eager for more even though she couldn’t begin to imagine how there could be more.

  This was Brody? her brain demanded when it could form a coherent thought. Quiet, steadfast Brody? What kind of blinders had she been wearing all these years?

  And then, as if to confirm that this was indeed her childhood confederate, the boy then man she had told all her secrets to, had trusted with her innermost thoughts, Brody was suddenly over her.

  His eyes were smoky as he looked down at her.

  Irena felt her heart embrace him with a fierceness that took away what little br
eath she had left. Her eyes on his, she parted her legs beneath him, issuing a silent invitation.

  Her arms encircling him, Irena urgently whispered his name as she felt him enter. And then he began to move, first slowly, then with a rhythm that increased with every second that passed.

  Her head spinning, Irena arched her hips, drawing him in farther. Stifling a moan, she began to mimic his movements. The tempo rose, becoming increasingly frantic.

  And then the stars exploded, raining down in a bright, fiery display that would have robbed her of her last ounce of breath—if she’d had any left.

  Chapter Nine

  As the euphoria of lovemaking slowly ebbed, Irena realized that she was acutely aware of everything around her. Of the low moan of the wind outside her window. Of the sound of her own shallow breathing and the rhythm of Brody’s heart as it beat erratically beneath her palm.

  What was going through his head? she wondered. Was he as surprised as she was at what had happened? Did what they had just done completely change the way he regarded her?

  God, she hoped not.

  Despite the fact that she had allowed their relationship to lapse, Brody’s friendship meant the world to her. She knew that now.

  Lying beside him, she closed her eyes for a moment, searching for the right words. When she opened them again, she said, “I’m not like this, you know.”

  Her words warmed him, like a match that had been struck, giving light and heat to the darkness. Without realizing it, he tightened his arm around her.

  Don’t get carried away. This isn’t going to go anywhere, he warned himself. Out loud, Brody said, “I know.”

  “I was engaged once.” He probably thought she was rambling, but she really needed to make him understand that what had just happened here wasn’t business as usual for her. That it was different from anything she had ever done before.

  Engaged. He hadn’t known that. A flicker of jealousy rose, then vanished. She’d said “was” not “is.” It was in the past. That meant she was free. Tension receded.

  “What happened?” he asked her.

  “It didn’t work out.” It was a simple answer for a very complex occurrence. “I didn’t know what I was looking for, what I wanted,” she confessed, then sighed deeply. “I suppose that I just wanted to have someone to love.”

  Brody turned his head toward her. She was lying too close for him to see her expression. “And did you? Love him?” he pressed when she didn’t answer.

  “No.” She searched for a way to make herself clear. “When I was with him, really with him,” she emphasized, not wanting to use the words making love because she realized, looking back, that love hadn’t been involved in the relationship at all, “I didn’t fly.”

  “The way you did with Ryan,” he guessed.

  “The way I did with Ryan,” she confirmed quietly. “I was certain that would never happen to me again, that I would never encounter that teeth-jarring, mind-boggling sensation ever again. That I’d never fly again.” Irena raised herself up on one elbow in order to look down onto Brody’s face. “If you’re interested, just for the record, I flew tonight.”

  He felt himself wanting her all over again. Love all but squeezed his heart in two. Brody threaded his fingers through her hair, framing her face with his hands. Loving her more than he thought was humanly possible.

  “I’m interested,” he murmured. “Since we’re sharing bits and pieces of our souls,” he continued, measuring out each word, “maybe I should tell you that—”

  Irena shook her head, the ends of her hair brushing seductively against her bare shoulder. She placed her finger to his lips, stopping him. “Don’t,” she entreated softly. “Don’t say anything.”

  He was about to tell her that he’d wanted to make love with her for a very long time, that she had just fulfilled a very dear fantasy for him, but in the face of her words, he kept his silence.

  “Why not?”

  She released a shaky breath. “Because I’m very unclear about things right now. And I’m not someone who can offer anyone a tomorrow.”

  Brody laughed dryly. “Channeling Ryan?”

  It wasn’t like that. Ryan had wanted to have the most amount of fun—strings free—that he could. That wasn’t her goal; it never had been. “Being wary of the feelings I had for Ryan,” she corrected.

  Brody’s expression grew somber. “I’m not Ryan,” he told her.

  “I know that,” she replied with feeling. She really admired and respected Brody. That could never have been said about the way she’d regarded Ryan. “You’re kind, selfless, generous.”

  Brody frowned slightly, even as he was acutely aware of her nude body leaning against his. “You make me sound as boring as oatmeal.”

  She smiled at him, her eyes crinkling. “Oatmeal never made me fly.”

  Mentally, he clung to that, knowing that however this turned out, they’d shared this moment together. And then he grinned at her. He’d been on the receiving end of far more than he had ever thought he would be.

  Reaching up, he toyed with her hair. “Would you like to try for a round trip?”

  Her eyebrows rose, disappearing beneath the tousled hair that dipped down into her eyes. “So soon?”

  “Soon is a relative term. Besides, there’s no time like the present,” he replied just before he brought her mouth down to his.

  Fire reentered her veins.

  Irena woke up before dawn stirred and brought light to chase away the darkness. She felt both energized and more confused than ever as she hurriedly got into her clothes. The feelings she experienced were not the kind a woman had for her best friend.

  It would be best for everyone if she could just dial her feelings back a bit. Easier said than done. Just how do you unring a bell?

  She couldn’t. So she did the next best thing. She pretended that the bell had not been rung.

  Dressed, she stood by the door, ready to go. “Think I can get June or Kevin to fly me to Anchorage this morning?” she asked Brody.

  Opening the door, he waited for her to walk out first. Her casual question created a knot in his stomach. What did you think? One time in bed with you and she’d just jump into your arms forever? “You’re leaving?”

  Was that disappointment in his voice? Or was she just projecting her own feelings onto him? “No, I’m going to see the dealer who sold Ed his clunker, remember?”

  Relief flooded through him, even though it made no logical sense to feel like this. She was still going to be leaving in a few days. Sunday was just around the corner and then she’d be gone out of his life again.

  Unless he could find a way to talk her into staying.

  He knew that was what had happened with Ike and Marta, and April and Jimmy, as well as several of the other couples. Only intending on staying in Hades for a short time, they’d all postponed their departures until, eventually, the thought of leaving ceased to be a viable possibility.

  No, Brody told himself, he couldn’t do that, couldn’t selfishly make Irena remain in Hades. She had a life in Seattle, a thriving career, and even though Hades could definitely use a competent lawyer, it was a given that she couldn’t achieve the kind of money and success here that she could in Seattle.

  Still, he could make the most of the time that was left. “Right. Ed. I forgot,” he admitted. “Want some backup?”

  She was surprised at the offer. “You’re volunteering?”

  After last night, he just wanted to be with her. It didn’t matter where or what he was doing. “Never hurts to have someone in your corner,” he told her. “Strength in numbers and all that. Besides, I think I’d really like to see you in action. I have a feeling it’s an impressive sight.”

  A smile played on her lips. “You already saw me in action.”

  “All right,” he amended, “I’d like to see you in action with your clothes on.” It occurred to him that maybe, after last night, she was uncomfortable in his company. “Unless you don’t want me to come
with you,” he qualified.

  Well, at least that hadn’t changed, she thought. Brody was as mindful of her feelings as ever. He might look a lot like his late older brother but Brody really wasn’t like Ryan. She was beginning to appreciate this fact.

  “Sure, why not?” she said. “You can protect me in case this Phil what’s-his-name turns out to be a short-tempered behemoth who decides he wants to take a swing at me.”

  He doubted if anyone would want to do that after seeing her, but he kept that to himself. “Partial to knights in shining armor, are you?”

  Just since last night, she thought. Out loud, she said, “Every time,” punctuating her words with a wide grin.

  Ursula nearly walked right into them as Irena opened the door to Yuri’s house. On her way to the post office, the older woman abruptly took a quick step back to prevent a collision.

  “Well, hello.” She made no move to go. If she was a few minutes late getting to the post office, it was really of no consequence. And this was far more interesting. Ursula’s sharp blue eyes swiftly raced over her husband’s granddaughter and the young woman’s companion. What she saw made her smile in triumph. “You’re glowing,” she announced with pleasure.

  Instantly self-conscious, Irena said, “Cold air stings.”

  Ursula’s smile deepened, causing her eyes to almost disappear into small crescent slits. “So does a hot bed.”

  Irena’s mouth dropped open. “Ursula, please,” she protested, embarrassment reddening her cheeks.

  Hades’ postmistress shrugged innocently. “Just making an observation,” she pointed out. Leaning against the door, oblivious to the draft, Ursula glanced from Irena to Brody. Both looked as if they were in a hurry to get somewhere. She wasn’t accustomed to seeing anyone hurry—unless it involved either a fire or a mine accident. “You two going somewhere?” she asked.

  Irena had gotten out of the habit of announcing her schedule, but she didn’t see the point in being rude, so she answered Ursula’s question.

  “I’m going to go change and then I need to see if I can get Kevin or June to take me—us,” she amended, “to Anchorage.”