Your Baby Or Mine? Read online

  Roberta had no business thinking she could just barge into his life like that, not after keeping out of it for almost thirty years. His eyes narrowed as he looked at Marissa. “And how would you know if that was the truth?”

  That answer was simple. “Because you don’t kiss like a man who makes a habit of getting around.”

  “And you’re an expert on that?”

  She forgave him the trace of sarcasm, even though it stung. “I haven’t been out with anyone myself since before Christopher was born. At first, it was because I was pregnant, and then I didn’t see the point.”

  “The point?”

  “I wasn’t looking to get involved with anyone, so why go out?” Marissa grinned. “It wasn’t exactly as if I had time to kill.”

  This was making him nervous, she thought, the kiss and what was behind it. Well, he wasn’t the only one. But her nerves had more to do with a sense of anticipation, his seemed were the result of something akin to dread. That, too, she could see in his eyes.

  The moment needed to be lightened. Marissa stepped away. With the children down for a nap, she had time to herself. If there was such a thing, she thought. What with a new routine to get down for the class and wrestling with a thesis that refused to assume a proper form, time to herself meant time to do her own work. She’d forgotten what it was like just to read a book for its own sake, one that didn’t have a philosophy, or fuzzy animals that talked.

  Marissa looked at him, suddenly remembering what he’d said when he left. “So, where is it?”

  “It?” he repeated, bewildered. He thought she’d been talking about them.

  No, he corrected himself. There was no them, there was just a kiss, nothing else. He couldn’t allow there to be anything else. What he was feeling was delayed remorse, that was all. But he couldn’t just seek solace with the first attractive woman he was physically drawn to. It wouldn’t be fair to either of them. At the very least, it would lead to complications, and that was the last thing he needed now. He didn’t want to care about anyone else besides Andrea. He didn’t want the pain that was involved in caring. Not ever again.

  They were wrong. It wasn’t better to have loved and lost. It was hell.

  “Yes, ‘it.’ Chinese food. You promised to bribe me, remember?” A smile played along her lips. “I guess not. You forgot.”

  He had. Chagrined, Alec knew there was no way to talk his way out of the oversight. After four and a half hours in the restaurant, take-out food had been the last thing on his mind.

  Alec spread his hands. “Completely. Guilty as charged.”

  She didn’t need the extra salt anyway. “Just as well. One of us might get a suggestive fortune cookie.” She winked at him.

  “But I did bring you something.”

  She turned around, surprised. What could he have possibly brought her? “Oh?”

  He saw the interest in her eyes immediately. It made him think of what she must have been like as a little girl. He wondered if anyone had thought to give her things then. It didn’t sound as if either one of her parents had doted on her the way he did Andrea. Or loved her.

  He knew how that felt. It wasn’t until Christine that he even knew love could exist.

  “It’s in the car,” he told her. She began to follow him. “You stay here. Better yet, this is going to take me a while. Why don’t you go do something?”

  “Want me to start dinner?”

  “No, not dinner.” He couldn’t even begin to think of food. “I still owe you that. Find something else to do.”

  He didn’t owe her anything, but it was nice that he thought so. “You’re being awfully mysterious about this.”

  Yes, he was, Alec realized. And he was enjoying himself. Enjoying the look of anticipation in her eyes.

  “I know.” He grinned.

  Marissa shook her head as he disappeared from the room. Alec Beckett was one difficult man to figure out. One moment he was pulling her toward him, the next, trying to set up roadblocks. And then the process began all over again.

  He certainly was different from Antonio. Everything with him had been up front. What he wanted. What he didn’t want. There were no real surprises after the first few days. She’d known from the start what he was all about. She’d just hoped that somehow, what he was could be altered just a little. That love would make him want to alter.

  Clothing was altered, she reminded herself. Not people. She’d learned that lesson just a little too late to do her any good.

  “Sure I can’t help?” she asked. Alec was almost at the front door.

  He only stopped long enough to tell her, “Yes, by staying out of my way.”

  He’d aroused her curiosity. And her. She only hoped that for him, this attraction between them was a good thing. She already knew that it was for her. She’d thought herself emotionally comatose, if not dead altogether. She had Alec to thank for making her discover that she could still feel. It was a nice thing to find out after all these months.

  It took Alec less time than he thought. Setting up the old computer had only taken a few minutes. What he had assumed would take longer was upgrading the CPU so that it could run faster for her. He’d picked up the part at a computer store on his way home after stopping at the office.

  But even that had gone fairly routinely. So had installing her screen saver, the one he’d created especially for her. Twenty minutes later, he went looking for her, anticipating the expression on her face when he told her that the computer was hers to keep. Rex was only going to get rid of it and use the write-off for the company. Now that Maxwell was aboard, there was no need.

  He found Marissa in the family room. She was on her stomach on the floor, trying to retrieve a small stuffed animal that was wedged somewhere behind the breakfront in the half inch of space that existed between it and the wall.

  For a second he watched as she wiggled and angled for position. Entertained, he squatted behind her, addressing the back of her head.

  “If you’re trying to crawl behind that, there’s not enough space.”

  Marissa started, scraping the inside of her arm along the back of the breakfront. She’d been so intent on reaching the stuffed animal, she hadn’t realized he’d come into the room. Marissa winced as the scrape began to sting.

  “Very funny. Andrea flung her rabbit behind this when your mother was over. I’m just trying to get it out for her.”

  He tried not to stare at her butt, even though her shorts adhered to it invitingly. “Leave it. She’ll never miss it. And if she does, I’ll buy her another one.”

  Must be nice, she thought, not having to worry about money. There had never been a time when she hadn’t worried about it.

  “If you say so.” Marissa tried to snake her way out again. It wasn’t as easy as getting in. It wasn’t easy at all. “Um, Alec, would you mind giving me a tug?”

  His eyes traveled up the length of her. “Which part would you like me to tug?” He could think of a number of places he wouldn’t mind wrapping his arms around.

  “You can start on my other arm.” She wiggled her fingers. “I seem to be stuck.”

  She was serious, he realized. “Hang on, I’ll get you out.” But as he tried to move the breakfront back further, he found that it was too heavy to maneuver without help.

  “Okay, we’re going to have to do this the hard way.” Wrapping his arms around her waist, he pulled, at first gently, then harder.

  The last tug did it. They tumbled backward on the floor, a tangle of bodies, arms and legs. Her breath whooshed out of her as she landed on top of him.

  It wasn’t an unpleasant turn of events, Alec mused. Looking up into her face, Alec ran his hands along her sides slowly. He could feel her, every inch of her, against him. His body hummed in response. It had been a long, long time since he’d felt like this.

  He smiled into her face, brushing the hair away from her eyes. For a moment temptation urged him on. It would be so easy to give in. So very easy. His fingers curl
ed along her cheek, touching it softly. “I don’t think we’d better start something we can’t finish.”

  She braced herself above him, a host of sensations scrambling through her like a mass of electrical impulses.

  “No,” she agreed slowly. “Until we can both finish it.” And it won’t be today.

  With a sigh, she rose, first to her knees, then to her feet. Venus, rising, he thought, not from the sea, but from an idiot who couldn’t take his opportunities where he found them.

  But he wasn’t that kind of a man. Even if he were, she wasn’t that kind of a woman. He knew that instinctively.

  Marissa brushed herself off, rotating her shoulder. She looked at the scrape on her arm. “Thanks for the rescue.”

  Taking hold of her arm, he examined the scrape. “Did you just do that?”

  She nodded. She tried to pull her arm away, but he wouldn’t release it. “I’ll live.”

  “You better put something on it.” Then, before she could protest, he took her by the hand and led her into the bathroom. Opening the medicine cabinet, he took out the disinfectant. “Hold out your arm,” he instructed.

  “You’ve been watching too many medical shows.” But she did as he told her.

  “Better safe than sorry.” Lightly, he brushed the applicator along her scrape. “A one-armed nanny leaves something to be desired.”

  “I suppose so.” It hardly stung. “You have a nice touch.”

  “So they tell me.” He grinned. “Better?”

  “Better.” She dropped her hand at her side. “Thank you.”

  “Don’t mention it.” He liked doing things for her, he thought. It gave him a good feeling. “Ready to see what I brought?”

  She placed her hand in his. “Ready.” She still hadn’t a clue as to what he could have possibly brought her, but whatever it was, she was prepared to love it.

  Alec led her to the spare bedroom, where he had stored his old desk. He’d intended to call the Salvation Army to come and pick it up, but somehow or other, he’d just never gotten around to it. He was glad now he hadn’t. It was perfect for the computer.

  “There.” Standing in the doorway, he gestured toward the computer.

  It didn’t look like his computer, but then, she’d only seen it once in passing. “You set up your computer for me in the spare bedroom?”

  He pulled her into the room. “Not my computer. Your computer.”

  “Mine?” She circled it, not sure what he was telling her. The computer was turned on. As she looked at it, she realized the screen saver was a photograph of Christopher. Before her eyes it transformed into an image of her. Stunned, she looked at Alec.

  Her reaction pleased him. “Just a little trick.”

  She watched, fascinated, as the image turned back into her son. “I don’t understand. Are you lending me a computer?”

  “No, I’m not lending you a computer, I’m giving you a computer.”

  Much as she wanted one, it was out of the question. “I can’t accept something like this. It’s too expensive.”

  “Once, yes,” he agreed. “This is an old one from the office. No one uses it anymore. We got in a shipment of replacements a month ago, the last word in technology. This one’s antiquated by current standards, but I’ve upgraded it enough so that it’ll more than suit your needs.”

  Her eyes were as wide as a child’s at Christmas. He didn’t think he’d ever forget the way she looked right now. “And you’re giving it to me?”

  “Yes.”

  She couldn’t quite make herself believe that he would have gone to all this trouble for her. No one else ever had. “For my thesis.”

  “And for anything else you need. It’s yours, Marissa.” She looked as if she didn’t quite comprehend what he was telling her. As if something was keeping her from believing him. He pulled the chair out for her, silently urging her to sit down at the desk. “Hasn’t anyone ever given you anything before?”

  She shook her head. Marissa sat like someone just waking from a dream.

  “No,” she whispered. She looked up at him, her blue eyes shimmering through newly formed tears. “I don’t know what to say.”

  “Then don’t say anything.” Her gratitude made him uncomfortable. It was only a computer. A secondhand one at that. “Just type.” He indicated the keyboard and began to back away. “I’ve got to run out for some Chinese food.”

  She looked at the screen and watched her son’s face being formed out of her features. Alec had done this for her. Taken time away from a schedule that was as crammed as hers to create something to please her. There were no words she could offer him that began to say what she felt.

  The sound at the door roused her. He was leaving. “Alec?”

  “Yes?”

  “Thank you.”

  Alec didn’t answer. He merely waved his hand at the sentiment as he walked quickly out. Her gratitude undid him even more than her kiss had.

  Chapter Ten

  Alec, you have to come.”

  Alec frowned as he repositioned the telephone receiver between his shoulder and his ear. Sunday brunch was one thing, having to spend an entire evening socializing when he’d much rather be at home was another.

  “Rex, I have to create programs that’ll sell, that’ll entice the public to spend their hard-earned money and clamor for more. I have to help you continue to build the company’s reputation for excellent software. I don’t have to attend a party.”

  “You do if I’m giving it for Maxwell. How will it look if my chief creative guy isn’t there?”

  Behind him, in the kitchen, Alec could hear Marissa talking to one of the children, coaxing them to eat. His dinner was getting cold, he thought. He didn’t feel like having this conversation, especially since he had a sneaking suspicion he wasn’t going to win. “Almost ten years in the business, two degrees, and suddenly I’m reduced to a ‘creative guy’? What kind of a technical term is that?”

  Rex’s deep voice echoed in the receiver as he laughed.

  “It’s what Maxwell calls you and if it’s good enough for him…” The rest went unsaid. “C’mon, Alec. You can even wear a disguise. It’s a costume party.”

  Alec stifled a groan. “Costume party. Oh, this is just getting better and better all the time.” Grown men and women, reliving their childhood by running around in Halloween outfits. It was something he could definitely do without.

  Rex ignored the sarcasm. “And if you don’t have anyone to bring with you, Myra has this friend…”

  Alec closed his eyes. Could this get any worse? He didn’t care for social gatherings that included more than three people, hated dressing up in outlandish clothes, and dreaded being “fixed up.” Why married people were so obsessed with coupling their single friends was beyond his understanding.

  Moving the telephone, Alec turned around so he could see what was going on in the kitchen. Marissa was ably handling both children. So what else was new? She made it look so easy. Whenever she left him with both children in the evening, they wore him out before the first hour was up.

  Rex was making lofty plans in his ear. He knew if he didn’t say something, he was going to wind up sitting beside Myra’s friend at dinner. “Now I have to bring someone?”

  “No, aren’t you listening? I said, Myra has this friend—”

  He’d seen some of Myra’s friends. “I’ll bring somebody,” Alec promised quickly.

  Victorious, Rex knew the value of a quick exit from the field of battle. “Great. I’ll tell Myra you’re coming. That’s Saturday. Eight sharp.”

  “You’d better hope I don’t bring anything sharp,” Alec muttered, hanging up the receiver. He sighed, shaking his head as he walked back into the kitchen.

  “Problem?” Marissa looked up from the spill she was cleaning. Andrea thought carrots looked better on the floor than in her dish.

  “No. Yeah.” He looked down at his place mat. It was empty. Had she cleared off the table already? He knew she was in a hurry
, but he wasn’t even half finished with his dinner.

  Marissa looked amused at his ambivalence. “Multiple choice?”

  “Rex wants me to come to a party.” He looked around and didn’t see his plate in the sink. “Marissa, where’s my dinner?”

  “Right here.” She opened the microwave. “I was keeping it warm for you, in case the conversation ran over.” Marissa set the plate back in front of him. “It sounds like fun. The party, I mean.”

  His dinner was warm. And she was incredible. “You like parties?”

  She sat down again between the two high chairs. Christopher was fussing a lot tonight; she hoped he wasn’t coming down with something. “It’s been a long time, but, yes, if memory serves me, I like parties.” Marissa coaxed the small, pink lips apart with the edge of the spoon. “Just a little more, sweetie.” Christopher clamped down on the spoon and sucked.

  She glanced at her watch. She had forty minutes before she had to get to class. That left her just enough time to finish feeding the children, throw something into her own mouth, put the dishes into the dishwasher and leave. Life was really becoming way too scheduled these days. She wanted to leave pockets of time for surprises, but there weren’t any pockets available.

  There weren’t any more surprises lately, either, she reminded herself. After a month of being here, things had settled into a fast-paced routine. The magic she’d felt between her and Alec was still there, but he was doing his best to ignore it and she couldn’t very well force him to acknowledge its existence. It always took two.

  Still, she couldn’t complain. Life was better now than it had ever been before. And there were all these wonderful possibilities looming on the horizon for her. Not the least of which was that she was going to have her degree in less than a month. That would open up a whole host of doors for her.

  She had to be content with that.

  Content. It was an odd word to settle for. Once she would have been thrilled to death to reach her goal. But now that it was within her grasp, it felt a tad empty. She wanted something else. She wanted more.